The enduring power of the golden rule
In the next essay in our "I believe" series, Audrey Kuczka shares how the women in her life have taught her what it means to put love above all else.
“What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.”
— Albert Pike
In a world that often values self-protection over selflessness, I’ve found myself revisiting a lesson that many of us first heard as children, often from a parent or teacher. Becoming a Catholic has helped me rediscover the timelessness of the golden rule — treat others the way you want to be treated — and the grace that comes from choosing to love others, even when it’s hard.
This is what I believe: I believe in treating others with kindness and love, even when they haven’t earned it.
My first and greatest example of this was my mom. She lived out the golden rule in a way that looked effortless. But now I know it was a choice she made every single day. Growing up, I watched her greet strangers with warmth, show patience when it would’ve been easier to snap and extend grace to people who had wronged her. She didn’t decide who deserved her kindness – she just gave it freely, because that’s who she was. As a kid, I didn’t realize how rare that was. I just thought that’s how everyone was supposed to be. Looking back, I can see that, by her example, she planted the first seeds of my belief in the power of kindness.
For a while, I drifted away from that way of living. I even worried that showing kindness might make me look weak. I bought into the self-first mindset: Cut ties with anyone who hurts you. Protect your peace above all else. And while I still believe boundaries are healthy and necessary, I’ve learned through therapy and life experience that putting myself first in every situation didn’t make me feel stronger. Instead, I found myself trapped in resentment toward people who had hurt me. That anger and bitterness quietly shaped the way I saw the world, coloring my thoughts and interactions. I began to believe the world was as bitter and guarded as my own heart.
Therapy helped me start to forgive, not necessarily to excuse what had happened or what I had experienced, but to free myself enough to let love back into my heart, even when it still ached.
In recent years, my faith has grown in ways I could have never imagined. Looking back, I can see that the seeds were planted long ago by my mom. She wasn’t particularly religious, but she taught me by example — through her kindness, her compassion and her constant effort to make others feel loved. Those lessons stayed with me and created a desire in my heart to become a better person, like her.
This desire led me to the ultimate example of love and goodness: Jesus Christ. Through Him, I found not only purpose, but peace. This journey eventually brought me to the Catholic Church, where I felt at home in a way I never had before.This past Easter, in 2025, I was confirmed Catholic — a moment that felt like the beautiful culmination of the small seed my mom had planted so many years ago.
My ongoing faith journey has helped me understand that the golden rule isn’t just a nice idea, it’s a reflection of Christ’s commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves. Through the Church, I’ve come to see that love and mercy aren’t meant to be reserved for when it’s convenient or deserved; it’s not meant to be easy. In fact, following it when it’s hardest — especially with those who have hurt or wronged us — is how real love and mercy take root. They’re meant to be lived out in action, as a reflection of the unconditional love God has for each of us.
One of the most profound examples of someone living out their love for others was my late mother-in-law, Jean Kuczka. She was an inner-city high school teacher who drove two hours round trip each day simply because she loved her students. She became like a mother to many of them, offering the care and support that some of them had never received at home. She bravely lived out her faith and her love for others in the most extraordinary way. On October 24, 2022, she placed herself between a lone gunman and her students, shielding them and urging them to jump out the window to safety, ultimately giving her life to protect them. Because of her selfless sacrifice, not a single student in her classroom was harmed.
Jean’s life and her final act before she passed exemplify the golden rule and Jesus’ command to “love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:12-13)
At a time when so much emphasis is placed on the individual, how do you make a point to put others before yourself?
“A kind and compassionate act is often its own reward.”
— William John Bennett
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